Dating a guy who has no friends
I can (theoretically) go up to a girl at a bar or coffee shop and start talking to her. Or, the conversation ends after a while, and you both go your separate ways—still no real consequences. If you crave more male friendships in your life but feel anxious or uncertain about how to do it, don’t worry—there is hope.The first step is getting over any fears about “measuring up.” Remember, everyone gets insecure, and you’re always your own worst critic.
I am good at making acquaintances with NEW guys that I meet. But on a weekend, I’d rather work in my yard all day and relax by the grill in the evening than hang with any “NEW” friend.Yet, according to research, we crave intimacy in our friendships just as much as women.Worst of all, this lack of close relationships could be very, very bad for us.Part of it seems to be the way we grow up: as we hit puberty and we begin to develop as men, we try to avoid any notion of being “feminine”—which often means trying to appear stronger and less vulnerable.During our adolescence and through the great social experiment we call “high school,” we struggle with afflictions like acne, the sudden desire to be noticed by potential love interests, and the scary realization that we’re going to be adults soon.Prolonged loneliness can have serious consequences for cognition, emotion, behavior, and health—and may even speed up physiological aging.
It’s hard to say why guys aren’t great at making friends with other men.
This translates into having less interest or tolerance for making friends with men who don’t share the same ideals.
But many other men feel a loss of connection as they get older—and the sense that having more close male friendships would be valuable. Some of the common themes that emerge are: One big barrier for these men seems to be the lack of practice with “chatting up” a guy.
Growing up, most men are pretty motivated to learn how to approach and talk to women.
It’s a natural part of becoming an adult (heterosexual) male—and even though it’s far from easy for everyone, the rules of engagement are clearer.
So enjoy the quality not so much the quantity.”–Fred, Distilled Man reader Increasing time-demands from our jobs, from our spouses, and from our children make it more challenging. And where we once may have explored other interests and made new connections, it becomes harder and harder to fight that inertia and broaden our social circles.