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“If it takes too long to get to know you at first glance, people won’t get to know you, period.”When your profile isn’t working, get working on it.“Edit your profile often,” Green says.“If your introduction isn’t sparking someone’s interest, try expressing yourself in another way.”And if you’ve been online for a while with no real activity, try, try again.“If you’ve had your profile up for more than six months, close it and start a new one,” Snell says.
You have to be authentic.“Be yourself,” Coleman says.Same goes for people who engage in sexual conversations,” Snell says.“No one who wants a real relationship is going to godown that road.”Steve Carter, 32, couldn’t agree more.“We have to be careful,” says the Utah single, who has dated online for the last two years.“Members of the Church would be surprised at the shocking number of people who have met their spouses [online].It’s a place where singles can go and meet other singles without pressure from their ward members or families constantly telling them to get married.”The Profile Want to date online but don’t want a picture on your profile?“It is becoming increasingly difficult for LDS people to meet a potential spouse once they’re out of college,” says Alisa Snell, a dating coach and marriage and family therapist in Utah.
“You’re just not in front of the masses, which translates to fewer opportunities.”Holly Coleman, 36, can’t argue there.“You get to the point—especially in my age group—when you feel like you’ve met every eligible person in your circles,” says Coleman, who met her husband on e Harmony and married him in 2011.
“People tend to search for who is new to the site.”The Safety Net When you set a time to meet, shout it from the rooftops (but not your identifiable rooftop).“Meet in a public place, and don’t share addresses with each other,” Snell says.
“Tell a few people where you’re going and what time you expect to be home.”And that phone number you give out?
It’s more important to be safe than polite,” Green says.
The Common Mistakes While meeting other LDS singles is the goal, talk about more than just religion.“Be careful not to describe yourself in completely religious terms.
’”Spelling errors are distracting.“I didn’t realize this at the time I signed up for e Harmony, but I judge men on their spelling,” says Coleman, who now lives in Oregon with her husband.