Problems dating coworker
Office crushes sure make the workday more interesting—and give you the inspiration to dress a little sharper for that Monday morning meeting, too.
Rape culture conditions men to ignore or disbelieve women when they say "no"—and it conditions women not to say "no" in the first place.Whether you applaud this development depends on whether you believe people should be asking out their coworkers at all—and whether you think Google and Facebook, two companies that have faced accusations of structural gender discrimination, can even exhibit feminist progress until those situations are rectified.But in the meantime, there's every reason to believe this specific rule will work for the problem that it sets out to address. According to a 2014 Career Builder survey, 38 percent of professionals have dated a coworker, and of those couples, 31 percent ended up married.Meanwhile, women are frightened of what will happen if they reject a man too directly or forcefully.(This week, a woman named Molly Mc Laren was stabbed her 75 times by an ex-boyfriend for dumping him.) Even if women aren’t scared of being literally murdered by their male coworkers, they may fear exclusion from exciting projects or opportunities or be worried that even the most gentle rejection will earn them a reputation as a "bitch." The result is that women often find it incredibly stressful to say no to a man—and many men believe it’s their social duty to keep pressuring women unless those women are yelling at them to stop.People at work are paid to be friendly, and it’s a violation of the unspoken social contract to mistake niceness for sexual availability.
And for those of us who do prefer to work without having sex or romance enter the picture, there’s hope that clear policies around how coworkers should express interest in each other will have a ripple effect.
Sex between coworkers happens, it will continue to happen, and responsible companies must find a way to allow it to happen while also protecting workers from sexual violation, intimidation, or retribution.
In the #Me Too moment, we’ve heard copious horror stories about men who used sex as a way to manipulate and abuse the women they work with—accusations that ran the horror gamut from bosses who told female employees their dresses weren't "tight enough" to men who showed women photos of their penises at work parties.
If working in close proximity to your love interest makes it tough to keep your personal life from affecting your professional productivity, then dating a co-worker might not be the best choice.
You’ll also want to consider the financial impact of a potential breakup.
(Facebook disputed this analysis, calling it “incomplete and inaccurate” and telling employees internally that the information damaged its “recruiting brand.”) Any stipulations around how coworkers should approach romantic relationships will be limited in their effect if women are shut out, demeaned, or discriminated against in other ways.