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Also, I hate that sexual double-standard where it's implied that women "give" sex to men. I think it's up to the two folks to determine how long they can date w/o hitting the sheets. I think it's up to the two folks to determine how long they can date w/o hitting the sheets.
When it comes to courting and dating, popular longstanding advice suggests that until the fish is on the hook, it is beneficial to adhere to certain "rules."These rules seem to offer a recipe for finding commitment and true romantic partnership, but what they invariably deliver is lopsided loving.If the scripts are good, fine; if the scripts are bad or incompatible, not so good. I really hate those silly daytime talk shows and magazines that try to impose certain rules when it comes to relationships (as well as gender roles/stereotypes.) You should just be yourself - be free to ask someone out no matter what your gender.For one thing, I think it's really silly that men are expected to be the ones to pursue a woman and be the one to ask if she wants to marry him.Needless to say, my past relationships were never quite right.So I had the big birthday and coincidentally went out on a first date 10 days later and instead of heart palpitations and a low cut top, I decided to be comfortable inside and out!and Claude Steiner's Scripts People Live might be a good place to start for anyone interested.
In a nutshell, in TA scripts are different than you've got them -- they result from longterm persistent low level programming by the parent of the opposite sex. (This model goes back to before the disintegration of the two-parent family began.) So a mother will tend to script a son to be like his maternal grandfather, possibly emphasizing his good qualities and excising his bad ones, depending on the mother's relationship with her father and her adult perspective.
Scripts are a key component of the branch of social psychology known as transactional analysis (TA), which no one talks about anymore.
Books such as Eric Berne's What Do You Say After You Say Hello?
This is quite different from "role model" concepts of early development which emphasize the same-sex parent. One implication for men is that they should choose woman as mothers whose father they like, because their sons are going to resemble him in a lot of ways.
And it's not to deny the possible importance of other childhood experiences. In terms of dating, people tend to pair up with those who either further or complement their scripts, the former being the one-sided kind of relationship.
It is important to have boundaries and to not reveal more or do more than you are completely comfortable with.